Letting Go!

Letting Go of things or events that have happened to me in the past seems to be a problem. When I get my heartbroken by death or love it takes a long time for me get over it. Then things trigger the event like a song or a place then the tears start to flow...it's just a mess. For an example the weekend I went back to Traverse City where I stayed with my grandparents. My parents don't live there anymore. I went to the beach to look at the amazing moon. Who was getting into his car but Nick McAllister. well fuck. Do I go talk to him? or Do I keep sitting on the rock by the water and pretend I don't want to jump on him like a mad women. Well I chose wisely some say and I kept sitting there. As I was driving away Journey came on the radio, then the water works turned on. Now that I look back it was probably pretty funny to watch but at the time I was hurting extremely badly. People that don't know the story of my love-affair with Nick McAllister really don't know what I'm talking about but that's okay. Don't read this Blog because i'm not going to explain it again. Anyways this whole encounter made me really upset. I mean i haven't touched him, talked to him or even listened to the voice messages in over 2 months. Which considering my track record is great. When things get broken off in a weird or abrupt way such as this I can't let it go. I need closure. But this time I had to provide my own closure, which through talking to friends and Scott Harding I have accomplished. Accomplished as in when people bring up his name I don't get really upset and start crying. Do I still think about him...Yes but I think of him as a relationship/affair past. Someone that I cared about, had good wronchy fun with, and thought I was cared about in return. Notice I didn't use the word love...I think that word is too often thrown around and people don't really meant it. Also Nick makes for a good character in my next screen play..Yes Nick your dirty laundry will be airing on the big screen. Ha! Don't piss Lynzi off or she'll exploit you. just kidding:) Wow! I didn't really mean to say that, but since nobody reads this I think I'm safe.